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 The Awkward Advent Calendar 
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Sim God
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The first thing I drink when I wake up (not long ago) is coke. I'm not sure if it comes across in my posts but I get all a bit funny and my eyes are like HEY and I'm not sure if it comes across in my posts but I get all a bit funny and my eyes are like HEY and I'm not sure if it comes across in my posts but SOMEBODY wins a chocolate it's probably me

Hey if you wiggle the screen up and down it makes the choir look like they're backing vocalists for Sin With Sebastian

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Sun Jun 01, 2008 7:58 pm
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Sim God
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Challenge #1: Losing several-thousand posts of adventery is not fun. I'm fairly sure we've established that. So let's try and get some of it back.

The purpose of this challenge is to re-post as much deleted Awkward Advent material as you can find. Files you may have saved, stuff that's still uploaded, even just memory, anything like that. It can be from the very first advent thread as well as the last one too, if you've still got any proof that one existed (hell, I'll accept anything from Justin's advent calendar if you're a bit desperate, as I think that's long gone too).

Whoever I consider the best at digging up old AAC material wins the first chocolate of the game.

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Sun Jun 01, 2008 9:07 pm
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5th!


Sun Jun 01, 2008 9:10 pm
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Here are my songs from winning the Awkward Idol

http://www.flyupload.com/?fid=6019751
- Everytime we touch


http://www.flyupload.com/?fid=4907277
- Only Hope

http://www.flyupload.com/?fid=8855935
- Someone's watching over me


Sun Jun 01, 2008 9:21 pm
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Epic Loser
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!!???!?!!?!??!??!???!?!?

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Sun Jun 01, 2008 9:21 pm
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Epic Loser
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Image

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Sun Jun 01, 2008 9:22 pm
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Teens tug labia fur.


Sun Jun 01, 2008 9:40 pm
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Guy Gadbois wrote:
5th!


I was going to post that! D:

Starlight132 wrote:
Here are my songs from winning the Awkward Idol


I have all the Awkward Idol files still saved. I'm not sure if I still have the old links, or if they're active, so I might need help re-uploading them (I've never uploaded audio files before).

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I'm not going o bother posting all the screenshot's I made because I've got a German presentation to learn so this will have to do. In reverse order almost:

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... eacard.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... MyBelt.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... eAFish.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... arning.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... ToLive.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... ForTom.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... istmas.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... /stick.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... Erhama.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... itled2.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... tled-3.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... stick1.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... stick3.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... ticky1.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... n/die3.gif
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/Paddimon/Ow.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... ckthat.gif
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... -matic.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... n/woah.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... /bored.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... n/FIRE.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... Heyyou.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... /Panic.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/Paddimon/win.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... n/list.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... /cheat.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... n/mine.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... ossbun.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... atglue.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... bit2-1.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... abbit3.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... abbit1.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... n/uuuu.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... n/gsrs.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... n/nggc.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... /hgfgf.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/Paddimon/dz.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... n/erdf.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... hippo3.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... hippo2.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... /HIPPO.png
(not part of it but worth posting: http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... achute.png)

Hm, I should really stop using my brother's photobucket account...

Tom 2
Inspired by 'Song 2' - Blur
Poor you, poor you, poor you, poor you

Tom is a reject
He can't get erect
Well not easily (pron. ease-uh-ly)
For some it is, though

Poor you
It didn't feel hard like metal
Poor you
It's not satisfying at all
Poor you
Said it was cos you felt queasy
All of the time you never knew how to please me
You can't please me

I made a new Tom
When I was drunk
He has no problem
He has no problem

Uh yeah
He is made from tough metal
Uh yeah
Joined with tape and some needles
Uh yeah
I don't lie cos it feels good
Now I realise that I never need you to please me
But don't eat me (directed at Tom 2)

Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah
... Oh no


_____

HEY, HEY, YOU, YOU,
I DON'T LIKE YOUR BELT,
NO WAY, NO WAY,
I THINK YOU NEED THIS NEW ONE
HEY, HEY, YOU, YOU
INVEST IN THE PIMP BELT (OH YEAH, OH YEAH)

Ever been so bored that you felt the need to stand like this?


Well abolish your boredom and, instead, why not try the power of pyro?

There are many belts around on the belt market these days, conveyor belts, asteriod belts, chastity belts etc., but none can compete with the ultimate survival tool: Bonky's Pimp Belt. This new belt is specially designed for your Forum-Pimping needs, it has a built in flame thrower which is set off when one thrusts. The flames, which reach up to 8 metres long, are released from the buckle of the belt.

Now, I know what you're thinking, "OMFG I JUS SET SUM RANDOM CAT ON FI-YAR!!!!!!111?!!!?!?!@!:!::!"

(Yes, those are panic waves)

Fear not, young maiden, for there is also a setting which fires water and one for acid and another for nails! Good luck in findng out which is which...

Not only that but the belt includes tampon holders (to clear up all that violent menstruation), a hat holder (so you can alternate between two), a space to plug in your mp3 (so you can shake that booty, careful not to thrust though), a whip holder, two banana holsters, five gun holsters and one fold out chainsaw pocket. There is also a space to store cheesestrings and a cup holder too with a tuckaway laptop. If you're too lazy to talk there's also an inbuilt blink-switch, just like Stephen Hawking! Up to 8 grenades can be clipped on at a time and, best of all, you can flip it over for PARTY TIME!

This side of the belt contains a glittery cowboy hat holder which traps any falling pieces. It is coated in glowsticks and has flashing lights everywhere. A space for some shades is designated and this time when you thrust, streamers are released! Includes inflatable mirrorball AND retractable DJ Booth!!

Investing in this product is a wise idea, it has everything you could dream of, and more.

I would have illustrated every feature but I haven't got anytime, which is why you should excuse spelling/grammar mistakes. I'm rushing.


_____

A Rap about Tom
In C Major

He takes my idea, gives nought to me
He is a bastard, no friend indeed
Yeah I want chocolate that I deserve
He stole from me

(He takes my idea)
That's right I'm sayin' he's a thief-bastard (but gives no prize)
And he ain't messing with no Shadowsim (I need that prize)
That's right I'm sayin' he's a thief-bastard (cos I want that chocolate)
And he ain't messing with no Shadowsim (in fact I need)
You bastard, give it to me (in fact I need)
You bastard, give it to me (in fact I need)
You bastard, give it to me (in fact I need)
You bastard, GIMMIE

(I might do the rest later, or something different. YOU OWE ME.)

_____

Bonjour Mr. Bonk of Wop Industries, I believe we've spoken before.
(there's me displaying my foreign language skills, *convincing eyebrow-wiggle*. I'm sure they impress you.),

I enclose a copy of my highly impressive CV as I'd like to apply for a job in your weight loss centre as a sales person.

Curriculum Vitae
Name: Rachel 'Ellipsis'
Age: However old you want me to be, baby *wink-smile*... 14
Sex: If you're offering.

Qualifications
Professional Turkey Baster (1993-2007)
Sexy Telemarketer of the Year (4 years running since 2000)
Achieved a Gold Award in swimming
Passed my driving test
Spoke to God
Able to create basic GIF. animations
French A-Level (A*)
German A-Level (A*)
Sales Person A-Level (A*)
Sexy Time A-Level (A*)

Sales Experience
Worked in a care home selling unicycles to the elderly.
Trained as a door-to-door salesman selling jars of Pesto.
Pitched an invention of a belt to a very important person, although failing to achieve an investment, there was much interest in my product which I continue to develop and perhaps one day mass-produce.


I shall also demonstrate an example of my selling technique (using one of your well-known products), just sit back and read the magic that's happening:



Tired of looking like a Tub of Lard, want to tranform that lard into a Lub of Tard? Well, if that's the case then I highly recommend that you invest in this new generation of liposuction tools.

*ANNIE-MAY-SHUN*

THE LUB-O-MATIC - Dramatisation
Warning, may cause organ loss and general discomfort post-suck. Consult a Psychiatrist prior to suck. Insert anywhere apart from eyes, nose, ears and testicles.

Skillful, ja? (Further language skills, I could help bring your company abroad)

I appreciate your time and I hope you will consider my entry to your highly successful business.

Best wishes with the business,
Rachel is sexy

A side note: I have an idea that could help spread out the demand and use of your product, perhaps into the cullinary industry. If you accept my résumé then I will be willing to share my ideas with you and the rest of your company.

_____

SS FIRE DRILL SAFETY RULES

Welcome to the Snooty Sims forum.

To ensure a safe and pleasant internet experience please read the safety booklet attached to the link below.
In case of a fire a pop-up will appear notifying you of the event:



Once this message appears, follow the instructions below:

1. Do not panic, there is a least a 30% chance that you will survive, if you are mentally capable (Erhama, I know you may find understanding these steps difficult so your chance of survival has been lowered… to 0%).

2. www.fireescapesuit-essentialforsurvival.com - This link contains a printable suit with instructions on how to put it together.

3. Once wearing the suit, LOG OUT immediately and make your way to the home page and file up in an orderly fashion.

4. Wait for a head count.

5. Do not go back for any missing members or personal property.

6. Remember, if you are a moderator, lock the threads behind you. If you are brave enough, delete any flaming threads but if you do not feel safe enough wait for Snooty to clear up any burning flames.

7. Once the flames have been put out and any damage repaired, return to the forum to salvage whatever is left.

8. Any funerals will be held 1 week after forum recovery.

_____

I'm not going to re-order/BBCode all of that.

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Sun Jun 01, 2008 10:12 pm
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Also, from the original SS Advent Calendar:

http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... latter.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/Paddimon/wc.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... titled.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... tled-1.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... tled-2.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... voteme.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... n/vote.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... ishies.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... ANTYOU.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... ldhave.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... n/fish.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... n/sted.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... n/Yeah.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... ainbow.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... riumph.jpg
(I forgot what this was for: http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... n/nope.jpg)
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/Paddimon/yay.jpg
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... n/high.png
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b289/ ... hunger.png

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Sun Jun 01, 2008 10:19 pm
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I think I'm out for this thread, actually.

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Sun Jun 01, 2008 10:20 pm
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http://www.2shared.com/download/3203891 ... 4-577aacd7
http://www.2shared.com/download/3203849 ... 1-6af4284c
http://www.2shared.com/download/3204358 ... 9-99f07f9d
http://download47.mediafire.com/tyhonhy ... uiteru.mp3
http://download156.mediafire.com/io9dlz ... lip+09.wav
http://www.2shared.com/download/3205596 ... 6-5af536e9
http://www.2shared.com/download/3205607 ... 4-fee00637
http://www.2shared.com/download/3205610 ... 0-3fd15953
http://www.2shared.com/download/3205933 ... 4-4988a159
http://www.2shared.com/download/3206013 ... 59-a97b198
http://www.2shared.com/download/3206025 ... 2-554c00bc
http://www.2shared.com/download/3206085 ... 7-d3205871
http://www.2shared.com/download/3206174 ... 4-870ca388
http://download277.mediafire.com/mvmsjc ... ilight.mp3
http://www.2shared.com/download/3209210 ... 8-2b1d885c

^ Those are the Awkward Idol files I found but I think some are dead and I don't know which one's which - oh, and it's missing Colin's. I might just re-upload them, where's the best place to do that?

Ellipsis wrote:
Image
Image
Image
Image


^ Very approved.

Ellipsis wrote:
Image


If it wasn't part of the advent thread, what was this for? I don't remember it.

britlovessims wrote:
I think I'm out for this thread, actually.


Not going for an awkward hat trick, then?

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Sun Jun 01, 2008 10:39 pm
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Bonkywop wrote:
Ellipsis wrote:
Image


If it wasn't part of the advent thread, what was this for? I don't remember it.

I was showing Shadowsim why I'd only like to be a lemming if I had a parachute and that if I didn't have one then I'd fall off a cliff and die. But then he brought up the fact that suicidal lemmings were of myth so I cut all connections with him and sat in a corner, with a bottle of whisky, whilst rocking back and forth for a month or so. Then the Advent Calendar was brought back and all was well.

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Sun Jun 01, 2008 11:03 pm
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Ohh yes, I think I remember the lemming discussion. I thought the whole "I WANT TO BE A LEMMING" thing was a euphemism for "I'M SUICIDAL" until he mentioned that. It was a bit worrying.

Second post in this thread now has content. I think we needed pointless statistics, didn't we?

Also, more old AAC contributions:

Image
Image
Image
Image

^ There are a bit devoid of context, yes

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Sun Jun 01, 2008 11:12 pm
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Image


Mon Jun 02, 2008 9:09 am
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Ellipsis your drawings are great :laughing2:

The only crap thing I posted in this thread.

Image


Mon Jun 02, 2008 1:37 pm
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SHUT UP AND TELL ME THE FUCKING HINT!

-Teehee

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Mon Jun 02, 2008 2:01 pm
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http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff27 ... f61662.jpg
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff27 ... led-10.jpg
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff27 ... d6cda1.jpg
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff270/erhama/MP3.jpg
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff27 ... noPlay.jpg
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff270/erhama/Gun.jpg
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff27 ... a/list.jpg
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff27 ... /Bunny.jpg
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff27 ... poDies.jpg
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff27 ... eaks02.jpg
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff27 ... Speaks.jpg
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff27 ... eaks03.jpg
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff27 ... eaks02.jpg
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff27 ... Speaks.jpg
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff27 ... 7_anim.gif

Thats all I can find from that album, I still have 2 more.

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Last edited by Equilibrium on Mon Jun 02, 2008 4:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Mon Jun 02, 2008 4:31 pm
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OH NO SANTA'S BACK D:

Erhama, you didn't happen to copy your frequent outbursts and save them in a document, did you? They were very entertaining. (Though if you did that's rather odd.)

Some more of the scribbled mess I responded with in the first drawing challenge:

Image
^ That's where the last picture's from, I guess.

http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i79/B ... ercome.png
http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i79/B ... ucking.png
http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i79/B ... rcured.png
http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i79/B ... thefad.png
http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i79/B ... tbites.png
http://i69.photobucket.com/albums/i79/B ... owdown.png

Between some of mine and some of Rachel's you can almost make a coherent story.

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Mon Jun 02, 2008 4:45 pm
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Bonkywop wrote:
Erhama, you didn't happen to copy your frequent outbursts and save them in a document, did you? They were very entertaining. (Though if you did that's rather odd.)
No, just remembered that I did those posts.

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Mon Jun 02, 2008 5:32 pm
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